LOVE

WHAT GOES DOWN ON WEDDING NIGHTS?

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Couple hugging in living room --- Image by © Steve Prezant/Image Source/Corbis

Wedding night! Yes wedding night, that first night that you can legally and spiritually do stuff together and not feel guilty afterwards, yes, that night. What really happens on a wedding night? Have sex? Lol…are you sure?

I did a little reading on what happens on wedding night and one majorly that caught my attention was a post on CNN’s website with real stories of how different couples spent their wedding night, I’m sure you are gonna expect some loving up, cuddle, bathe together with scented candles and rose petals…lol…of course, there were rose and scented candles but very few of them got to see it talkless of use it, a very great percent of couples end up being too tired from the ceremony, the reception and worse off for those who do after party, and to make things worse, few couples even have a bit of food all through the day, so they barely have any strength left for having sex. Some just look for food, eat and are too heavy and tired after to even do a thing, while others just fall asleep cuddled up.

There are the other set of those who don’t even make it into their bedroom, but end up in the hospital for picking up an injury from the dance floor or from having too much to drink.

There are few impatient and too horny couples that slip out of the wedding reception for a quickie, now I’m giving some intending couples some pretty nice ideas.

A quick gist-  I know of a couple who didn’t stop kissing from after the church wedding ceremony all the way to the wedding reception…more than a hour drive…I’m  sure you can guess why. If you can’t guess, I’ll hint you on that in a bit.

What then happens on wedding night, or should I rather ask, how many couples really get to have sex and consummate their wedding that very night?

A friend put on his BBM personal message once, “Only virgins look forward to sex on their wedding night“. My reply to him was, “before nko“, meaning, it doesn’t take rocket science to know that, it’s pretty predictable. And yeah, that was why the couple I referred to earlier couldn’t just unlock their lips, it was their first time.

So is it only couples who haven’t had sex prior to marriage who look forward to the wedding night, or a sneak out for a quickie I hope no one is still asking what a quickie is? I kind of feel this is no question, as the answer is an obvious…yes, unless I’m proven otherwise. I’m not denying the fact that the sex for couples who have had couple/lots of sexual relations prior their wedding night will be somewhat special, it will be more emotional due to what happened that day.

I learnt of couples who go on a ‘sex fast‘ a month or more before their wedding just to have a special wedding night. They starve themselves of the sex they’ve had ceaselessly to have something to look forward to at their wedding night.

The reason you pay for an expensive honeymoon trip, book an exquisite hotel etc, isn’t to taste their nice food or take pictures like every other tourist, but to have a time away, stay intimate with your new bride or groom. But why go through all that if there is nothing special to look forward to?

I sought the opinion of some unmarried youths (who are not having sex yet) and I realised that most of the ladies are just indifferent about anything happening that night. Some say they will be tired and might not just be in the mood, some feel their naivety will get the better of them so they’ll just shy away since there will be more pressure that night. (Click Here to read about SEXUAL NAIVETY)

On the other hand, the only song most of the guys plan to sing that evening is Boy’s II Men’s “I’ll make love to you “, I hope you know what I mean?

Now, let us hear from a married friend of mine…

Question: What happens on wedding nights? With what mind/feeling/expectation should that night be approached?

Response from Mrs Yemi:

What happens on the wedding night is quite irrelevant. It is what you make out of it. I know of a couple, infact the majority of the couple I know stayed up all night reminiscing about the day and their future together. Someone like myself hit the sack of our hotel room and totally forgot about the expectation of the wedding night because nature had to take its cause….I was simply tired. Lol. It’s like asking the importance of a wedding ceremony? Is it necessary to have one? I would shout from the roof top NO. But is it necessary to have a wedding band (ring)? I would shout YES!!!

Maybe cos I don’t have a fantastic story to outline probably I sound like this, but I’m glad I don’t because from talking to my close married friends about their wedding night makes me understand that it is irrelevant what you do on your wedding night because whatever you do isn’t stated in the law or the bible that has to be done. But it is necessary to understand that pre- marital sex is a disease to the body and soul….It distorts your thinking of intimacy and allows the perversion to take its course. It robs you of your purity in the way you think and see God’s purpose of intimacy. That alone is what should keep you having not only the wedding night special, but all intimate night special. What makes it special is your understanding of what God thinks about keeping the marital bed sacred. The physical and emotional contribution this commandment would have on you.

One night is too small to get you to understand this because it’s a lifetime reward.

Gbam! What more can a single brother like me say again? We often times create our own heartbreak through the expectations we build. Must anything happen on your wedding night? Maybe, maybe not. What happens if your partner sleeps off ‘cos he/she is just too tired from the day’s ceremony? Does it mean they love you less or want the sex any less? Of course not. What if you try to have sex and you just couldn’t get through with it or it was way below your wedding night fantasy?

Bride disappointed with groom passed out on hotel bed --- Image by © Unlisted Images/Corbis

Bride disappointed with groom passed out on hotel bed

Should you look forward to the Wedding Night? By all means, it’s a special night… the miracle of union, and where your bodies will become one. Bible stories record stories of huge parties and celebration around wedding nights, meaning it is something noteworthy. However, from today’s post, sexual intimacy transcends that night, it doesn’t end that night, after all, you might not even get to understand each other’s body and taste yet… nose clashing, and lots of ouch from hurting each other. (Is SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY important and how do you judge. CLICK HERE to read)

How are you supposed to approach that night? With joy, not one that will be derived from any sexual satisfaction that night, but joy in your partner, the gift of someone to share your life with, someone to travel life’s road together, sharing the burdens together, someone who will satisfy your sexual appetite and vice versa, and by doing so, you both end up glorifying God. If it will take sex to make you happy, then we can infer that you married the person primarily for sex?

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We all have criterias and conditon our partner must meet, but what is one that must be played with?THE FOUNDATION OF A PURPOSEFUL RELATIONSHIP

And to know about one of the most important factors in making the right choice, read; BOY MEETS GIRL; MAKING THE PERFECT CHOICE

31 LESSONS FROM MY 3 MONTHS OF BEING A WIFE

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Thank you reading What goes down on Wedding Nights, looking forward to reading your comment 😀

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39 Comments

  1. loool! This is too funny.
    I think the possibility of me and my partner having sex that night is highh oooo but if not we have our lives together.
    lovely write up tolu!

    1. Lool…good for that man 😀 but yeah, you have the rest of your life to enjoy sex together.
      Thank you, and thanks for leaving a comment Itunu 🙂

  2. I chuckled at some point while reading this. I’ve read similar articles about how wedding nights don’t always turn how to be the way *yet to be or about to be* married people intend it to be too.
    After what I’ve read, I realised I’m not gonna look forward to love making, EXCEPT le wife wants it BADLY. Although, I might just try to agree even if I’m enervated. But who knows, energy fit dey 😉 (hahaha, seriously laughing now).
    But what happened to the next morning after hours of rest – when the newly weds will be rejuvenated? Tomorrow will be there by God’s grace except Jesus now comes at that moment (hahahahaha). I can imagine the couples getting raptured and while in the air, exchanging words of regret for not doing anything the night before (hahaha). Abeg, don’t mind me!
    I didn’t feel like leaving any comment initially but I just talk say make I try. Enlightening post Tee 🙂

    1. Lol. Yu funny, one thing I would like to say. The joy of bin wt the Lord is far surpassing to that of the consummation of marital bliss. Thou most guys used to pray such prayers. Love.

    2. Hahahahaha…..your comment is just cracking me up, don’t even know what to say, chai! Energy go dey, no worry 😉
      Thanks for contributing.

  3. Hmmm, well on that night I’m pretty sure I would be hyper and would like some exploring. But as @itunu said, we have the rest of our lives together and we can’t do it all in one night.

    1. Lola, thanks so much for being real and being sincere…lol…and of course reasonable 😉

  4. Well one cant say for now. But I think I would prefer to jst savour d moment and appreciate God. And proably wait till after d thanksgiving on sunday…..

    1. Haaa… after thanksgiving kee, what happened to morning sex, abeg lets be realistic here, as much as i know i would feel burned out by that night, i won’t let the next morning pass me by talk less of waiting till evening of the next day..

      1. LMAO!!!

  5. I guess d high expectation placed on d wedding night is further compounded by our television media with their stories of lovely couples and wonders performed on d wedding night *winks* thank God it has Now been pointed out that their is no sin if nothing happens. kudos Tolu pls keep spreading the word God bless

    1. Very true Elizabeth, the media has a way of painting wrong and unrealistic impression on our minds thus leading to unreal expectations. And after all it’s beteen you and your spouse, and God, whose business is it if anything happens.
      Thanks Elizabeth. Amen!

  6. Well one cant say for now. But I think I would prefer to jst savour d moment and appreciate God. And proably wait till after d thanksgiving on sunday…..

  7. Lolzzz well as for me…..as a lady decided to keep myself until marriage so was still a virgin……so wedding night was scary for me as I have heard of how painful it was, so that night nothing happened nd hubby understood my fear. So relax most times couples are actually tired.

    1. Awww…thank you so much Awesome, so glad to hear from another married lady. Your advice is just perfect, “Relax”. Thanks for contributing 😀

  8. Well, I do look forward to my wedding night…always have. And I guess you could say it’s because I have decided to keep myself. But if nothing happens, like Itunu said, we have our lives ahead of us. There are yet many nights ahead. But then again, it’s not up to just me. I think I’d prefer to say, when we get to that bridge, we’ll cross it together. Always great to read from you, Tolu. May the Lord continually inspire you with ideas

    1. Beautiful, your partner will have a say in the decision as well, and since it’s our duty to try to out-do our partner in kindness, since “Love does not seek his own”, then we will delightfully oblige to their interest, and they to us as well. Thanks Arisa 🙂

  9. Lol, yes yes you are absolutely right. 🙂

  10. Nice write up as usual Tolu- keep it up. Well, I look forward to consumating the marriage if i’m not too tired from all the grooving. Though I have a feeling my hubby might not let me sleep- you know guys and their wahala. Much more important than the wedding night is keeping the marriage bed undefiled. We should work towards that. God bless and help us all, Amen.

    1. Lool…Thank you very much Mz_T, guys and our wahala indeed.
      Keeping the marriage undefiled is indeed the important thing, may God help us, and when we lose our steps, He should catch us and put us back on track.

  11. Eti, hahaha! I wanted to say something similar. Thanksgiving ain’t bad oo but I doubt it holds immediately in some churches. It’ll take like at least a week or more before thanksgiving can be done, depending on what Sunday thanksgivings are allowed to hold.
    Thanks for being realistic. 🙂

  12. Tolu as always…u dazed me once more…lovely piece …u r real and interesting….always looking forward to more interesting pieces from u….thumbs up bruv…learnt a lot…and btw…ma wedding nite is gonna be full of activities

    1. Auchezy…so happy to hear from you, always encouraging as always. Thanks bruv.
      Lol 😀 Correct, i like the sound of that. 😉

  13. Wow!!! This is wonderful…Nice piece. Stuffs like this should please be written more often so we young Christians would have clear understanding of what lies ahead of us and not get carried away with all the youthful pleasures life has to offer…

    1. Very well said Iyanuoluwa, that is what exactly this blog is for, hoping to have more of such.
      Thanks for reading and leaving a comment 🙂

  14. Virgin? Quickie…

    1. *raisedeyebrow* You think virgins won’t know that a quickie is?

  15. I had never thought of wedding night. But i like this article. It just gives me an enlightenment of what it could be.

    1. So glad to hear this post was helpful at enlightening you. Thanks for reading 🙂

  16. Wow..i was already scrolling up but jut had to comment…
    Awesome and realistic writeup especially since its Christ-centered and mature. We need more of these realities unraveled.
    My major highlight from this: Wedding Night…we wud cross when we get there…
    Thanks Tolu

  17. Funny, Interesting, Nice on the whole

  18. hmmm lol. nice write up. i think ill do more cuddling and sleeping based on what my husband permits. lol. we will be ‘seeing’ each other for d first time. knowing myself i might get a bit hilarious if not slightly anxious (dnt judge me lol) with d whole undressing, revealing, inspecting and exploring lol. i think ill need a bit more time to get comfortable. one step at a time lol.

    1. I like and appreciate the fact that you are real and sincere about your contribution 🙂 Thanks for leaving a comment.

  19. Hmmm. I think, the ‘Wedding night thing’ should be something both parties should have agreed on during their courtship. However, if fatigue, due to stress on that day or phobia,on the part of the woman based on the fact that it may be her first time, sets in, then Cuddling will be a Perfect option. Love making is just a Part of ‘Sex’, Not neccessarily the climax. I am of the Opinion that the ‘Wedding night’ should be a time when both parties ‘discover’ their bodies and get to know what works best for them. It can just be some passionate ‘wet kiss’ with advanced ‘smooching’. Who knows, Maybe the Lady may be in the mood and the Man may get a new ‘Dutch Courage’ Lol. However, it should be with a sense of ‘satisfying the Partner’ not the other way round. The moment there is that sense of ‘satisfying the partner’, inventions will come, Lol
    I also am of the Opinion that If excuses are given on that Wedding night, then it will pile up even more as the Marriage proper sets in. I suggest that the Couple discover ways to spice up their sex life (With Godliness in View-which is primarily TO GIVE LOVE).
    #TalesfromGunzGunz.
    Tee Abraham, Keep up the Good Work. God will continually give you much more inspiration,

    1. This is a whole and complete comment i must say, I couldn’t agree any less to all you shared, I’m really happy with this contribution Sir GunzGunz.

  20. Dear friend, I just read this piece, I salute your creative tentacle in crafting a realistic topic that the Church could have tagged ‘dirty’ in a way that Godly morals are learnt. I am proud of you. For me, a gold mine is worth waiting to dig…

  21. Wondaful. I love lifegiva. so important to avoid preconceived ideas from media. it’s btwn U God n Him/her 🙂

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