How long is long enough? If you have been waiting for so long and nothing is coming shouldn’t you try something at least. Back story, I read something somewhere about how most women need to learn how to position themselves aka Ruth’s story.
I want to assume that this question covers other questions like; should a lady ask a man out, what should you do when no man is approaching you? Or what should you do when the wrong kind of men are approaching you? Is there a way you can make yourself more approachable or “dateable”.
Before I answer these questions, I will like to give some general advice. There are some things that ordinarily come with a lady haven waited for so long without a relationship or without a suitor. And oftentimes this comes with pressure from family and society. It comes with a kind of stigma which generally leads to pressure.
So, regardless of how old you are or how long you have waited;
– Don’t lower your standards because you’ve been waiting for a long time
– Don’t settle for less than God’s best cos you’ve been waiting for long
Having said the above, here are a few things you should do.
1. Ask people close to you and who will tell you the truth if you are doing something wrong or if there is something you need to do.
This is important because sometimes some people are looking for the wrong thing, waiting for what doesn’t exist, or need to work on themselves. And most of this time, people around you know, they know you are probably being unrealistic in your expectations or nursing a wrong idea of a relationship.
Listen to what they have to say, consider it with an open mind, take what you need and trash what you don’t.
2. Build friendships and relationships.
You’ll marry or be married by someone who knows you or you know. You won’t marry a stranger. So, build good friendships, join groups and associations around your interests.
3. Don’t ever get preoccupied with the thoughts and feeling that you are running out of time.
Thinking about your age, how your age mates and colleagues are all married and have kids will put you under an unhealthy pressure, which will make you do almost anything or settle for anything.You must never forget that it is better to be single and praying to be married than married and praying to be single. Click To Tweet
4. Keep improving yourself and getting better.
People are attracted to value (in whatever form), looks, intellects, career…the better your value the higher in the ‘market scale’ you go. It is just the way it is in the corporate and job market, no one will hire you if you have nothing tangible to contribute to that organization’s goal. Make yourself valuable and you’ll be competed for.
This will simply improve your market value ✌🏾😁
5. Also, be accessible! Be approachable.
Should You ask a man?
There is absolutely nothing wrong in this. Nothing in the bible says ‘thou shall not ask a man’s hand in marriage’. And we have seen so many amazing marriages where the lady was the one with the first move. But one thing to note is that God’s design for a marriage is for the man to be the leader, so ask the following questions;
- Can he lead you?
- Is he man enough to always take the lead when you are married?
- Can you submit to him (or to his leadership) and trust his leadership?
- Is he interested in you and willing to pursue a relationship with you?
And it is very advisable to be forward with asking any guy hanging around what exactly his intention is.
And guys, please don’t waste ladies’ time, state your intention, go straight to the point.
@tojuoluwatoyinbo – 🙂 hiya! I’ll only add to or more like buttress a particular point- although you did ask the necessary questions. With regard to asking a guy’s hand in marriage. I think it’s okay to let a guy know you like him and possibly look forward to a relationship with him. (By the way, if a relationship starts this way, I definitely don’t advise that the woman proposes marriage too- that relationship is one sided). As for a woman asking for a guy’s hand in marriage, I agree that their might execrations to the rule but life should be lived by the ‘rule,’ not exceptions. If she proposes/initiates this covenant, is she also going to buy the rings and go meet his family? To mention a few. Like I said, a few exceptions, but I personally believe that as proverbs says, ‘HE who finds a wife…’ Looking at Isaac, Moses, Jacob, etc, I see them finding themselves wives. Kindly correct me in terms of female proposals in the Bible if I’m wrong pls.
You can read more on this topic here – Should a Christian Lady Shoot Her Shot (Initiate a relationship)?
Here’s a few advice, please kindly share more in the comment section below. Also, remember to share the article.