Managing My Sexuality As An Unmarried Christian

“Why would God give me the capacity for sexual feelings as a single when I am not to do anything with it???” I heard this question for the umpteenth time some days ago. This question mirrors the frustration many unmarried Christians face concerning their sexuality. They wish these desires can just disappear for now and reappear on the wedding night.

God created us as sexual beings. We don’t become sexual beings because we are married. God made us that way. Click To Tweet

Also, God created the concept of sex – He meant it to be a bonding force between the man and his wife.

Like we know, everything God created is good and is meant for our good and enjoyment when done His way. This means that sex is good and beautiful because it was created by God in whom is no darkness, but again only when it is done within the boundaries God has set – within the confines of marriage.

Understanding this would save you from beating up yourself unduly:

Having sexual desires especially as a young adult when your body parts are fully mature is not sinful. God’s design for sexuality in man doesn’t appear when people get married. It is there all along. Click To Tweet

It however, becomes a sin when you dwell so much on it that it turns to lust or when you consummate these desires with the wrong person and at the wrong time.

That said, we need to also know that the flesh is always trying to draw us away and entice us towards lust. That is why it is always such an intense battle keeping your body under control as an unmarried person. This is the flesh raging a serious war to go against the design of God – sex within the confines of marriage alone. 

How then do we address this?

The bible says to not be ignorant of the devices of the enemy. We ought to be aware that sexual sin is one area the devil uses to capture many men and women of God. Having this at the back of our minds, we intentionally guard our hearts. We do not allow just anything in. We guard what we see and hear. We guard what thoughts we brood over and the company we keep.

  • We spend time in the place of prayer. Jesus said, “Pray so that you fall not into temptation” When you don’t pray, you open up yourselves to sin. I once heard a preacher say this: “When you don’t take your prayer altar seriously, the kinds of sin you’d fall into would shock you”
  • Do not awaken love until it is due. If you give the devil a foot space, trust the devil to the whole room! Do not sign up for JAMB when you have no plans of attending a Nigerian University. When it comes to sexual sin, the instruction is to “flee”, no discussing or trying to compromise.

And we know God is in this battle together with us. He has given us all that pertains to life and godliness. So God didn’t give you sexuality to leave you confused and stranded. His grace is more than sufficient. He cannot give a burden that is too heavy for you to lift.

Married or not, God calls us to a life of discipline and self-control. Marriage isn't a cure for lust. Click To Tweet

If you cannot control yourself while unmarried, be rest assured that even in marriage, it’d be same. Because marriage in itself isn’t a cure for lust.

This should be a bigger motivating factor – exercising self-control at all times and ensuring your thoughts are constantly aligned with God’s.

If you cannot control yourself while unmarried, be rest assured that even in marriage, it’d be same. Because marriage in itself isn’t a cure for lust. Click To Tweet


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