My Heart and a Stake

Hammer breaking a heart
There is a difference between your head and your heart. What you feel and what you want. Your reason and your thought, and most of all your love and your pride…
I get this every time and never learn. Making the same mistakes over and over, but it seems like these actions get the best of me. I fall in love and in return, I don’t get what I really deserve. I stay faithful but these babes ain’t loyal. It hurts to get up with this feeling, it affects me,  it hurts my day, most times I can’t breathe.. there’s a limit to so much a man can take, and I’m way past that limit because I know that there is so little my poor heart can take before it implodes in itself causing self destruction..
No, I really do not want to go there, because as I write this I have with me my heart and a stake, why would a man like me go through such heartache, when in all and with all I offered… My love, my heart, my time, and everything I had…
How do I get rid of these thoughts in my head, how do I relate this to a listening ear, who will understand the pain I go through, who would calm the ache that flows through my vain… For the tears, I cried I become even more of a danger to myself because what is life without happiness, what is a feeling without being felt…
Every day I give love and expect nothing in return, but from the one, I love the most her love I need but in times of need she denies me what is rightfully mine… her pride takes over, everything we had doesn’t matter anymore, she builds her world and stays in it.. in her pride she’s a queen, and knowing what I feel she uses it against every part of me.. don’t I deserve to be loved, is it too much to ask, if I don’t then I guess it’s my bad
As I write this note, with me I hold my heart and a stake, Lord help me say a prayer that it doesn’t end up with a stake in my heart

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