The weekend just ended and I’m sure some of you were over at “le boo’s” place 😉 playing house …
It’s actually no big deal anymore. It has become a part of the package boyfriends receive from relationships. It is popularly known as “playing house” or using a more appropriate term, “cohabitation”
I got into a discussion with a friend recently and she asked for my personal opinion about her going over to her male friend’s house for a “visit”. Hold on- I mean the kind of visit where you ask if you can bring a friend along and the guy refuses out rightly, emphasizing that he’ll want time alone with you. Her friends are of the opinion that it’s no big deal, and think she should go. Her refusing to go makes her look weird and primitive.
Some are of the opinion that nothing “un-called for” will happen, at least as an adult , he/she should know what is right or wrong and what is permissible or abominable (which is a major argument among youths even as I speak. Kindly refer to the post “HOW PHYSICALLY INVOLVED SHOULD DATING PARTNERS BE?”… Such funny comments you’ll love to see).
Others are of the opinion that men have that “natural animalistic tendency/craving”. They might have promised earlier that they wouldn’t touch their lady or go over-bounds. But these cravings won’t just let them be until they have gotten a “bite” of the “forbidden fruit”. In the grave of the night, these men will definitely come hunting and begging for it, and won’t rest until they get it.
Which of the school of thoughts do you belong? Share your opinion with us even if it greatly differs from the school of thoughts listed above. Your differing ideas are most welcome; we could learn one or two things from them. Waiting!
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Well, I’ve been in this situation and I know something would happen… Only reason why nothing would is cos they are already used to doing whatever they do…
But then… there are exceptions.. Its OK to spend time with your bf/gf in his/her home… I just won’t advise it if its just the two of you at home…
Love and companionship are pretty affectionate, heartwarming things and both breed awesome moments and memories… That’s until their evil brother ‘Lust’ creeps in… And he feeds on Solitude..
Hmmm… Playing house ba? Alright, I for one(if that’s a correct english) believe that everyone must have some sort of standard. Most standards are derived from purpose and visions (self_discovered, parent_induced, job_adopted, or/and belief_oriented). I have a belief_oriented one and it teaches me that I am Dead to sin, Living for the only one true living God; hence, I ought to do only the things that edifies me (pertaining to the standard I have embraced). If cohabbilition or playing house ever crosses my line of sight(knowing that I understand the flesh) while I am engaged in a relationship. I should have a standard_check alert and scriptures like “flee youthful lust” or questions like “will this edify even if it seems lawful?”(assuming it isn’t even generally bad in itself… Shebi na just quality time na?) Will pop up and when that does… I go run oh even if na to leave my shirt behind like joseph with potiphar’s wife.
*ps- have a christian_belief_oriented purpose and let the King of Glory guide you*
Hmmmm…natural animalistic craving/tendency,nice words to describe them but really its just the way guys are wired,a normal/natural guy will always think of sex unless his mind is renewed.My own opinion is that it should be discouraged cos both partners might think they have the capability to control themselves but truly yours,the stories don’t end like that.And once you are in,you will always find yourself having a bite of the “forbideen fruit” even against your wish.
I have not been in that position but my answer will be a no(God helping me) because I have heard so many stories of how much guys can’t control themselves,how much the girl will regret it if eventually anything happens and how emotionally distraught she would be if a breakup eventually happens
Secondly our African culture culture frowns at a girl spending the night over at a guy’s house who has not paid her bride whether they did anything or not
Hmmmm…this topic is quite interesting. Let me start by saying I don’t feel spending a day or weekend once in a while at one’s bf’s is co-habitation. Living together before marriage is co-habitation. That being said, I won’t advice both co-habitation and sleeping over cos its very difficult for two people in love to stay together alone and not get physical. Though they may succeed in staying off for a while, they will eventually fall. It might even be that they would decide to do every other thing but sexual intercourse (I’m not sure how long that would last though)- its pure self-deceit!!! That’s what the devil would use to lure them into the trap of sexual immorality which they might find very difficult to come out of. Its best to pay regular visits- not sleepovers and make sure you’re not alone. Its better to flee from temptation if you can instead of trying to fight it.
Let’s call a spade a spade and not a big fork…there’s no way u can in a room alone with d one u love nd u won’t go all d way(even if u don’t do it,the thoughts of it is equivalent to doing it)…wwe guys seem to av”natural animalistic cravings”but babes plz help us…sometimes we don’t wish to but we end up doing it…if u’ve given all u’ve gat to ur BF or GF wat then will u give to ur husby or wify?God help us
Interesting comments I must say! Fact already sed, its very wrong. BUT I rily dnt appreciate d *natural animalistic craving/tendency* referin 2 d guys alone nd sayin dey will beg 4 it till dey get it. Somtyms d girl orchestrates d whole thing nd in her bid 2 *kip her guy* she listens 2 funny frndz whu say *pin him down wit it* thinkin dats how best 2 kip her relationship. I hv heard alot of such. So guys r nt 2 b blamed alone, ladies r also very funny. Bsides, 2 those whu r confident dey wuld say no, its just best we pray neva 2 b lure wit such negative opp.u culd think u r strong enof 2 say no but then remember, by strength shall no man prevail. As 4 me, I only pray not 2 b lured shaaa. Shikena! 🙂
Going for a visit alone would entail not sleeping over, or sleeping somewhere else apart from the guy’s.
I agree with you@ADELEKAN SEGUN,guys are weak when it comes to this but yet a lot of guys don’t see anything wrong with it and see it as a norm or an obligation their girlfriends must fulfil and would want to take advantage of the girl or the situation.Babes should also help in situations like this by saying NO and being firm with their decisions,by not luring or seducing the guy “indirectly” with what they wear to his house even during the day because guys are moved by what they see.It is normal to be sexually attracted to ones partner unless ofcourse if you don’t love him/her but we should try as much as possible to help eachother and be careful with what we do/say when together.Take for instance,two people in a relationship that profess to be christains and then they decided to hold vigil alone together at the guy’s place,even if they are so strong spiritually,the flesh would want to have its way because their is a loop hole,at that point even the holy spirit that was meant to interceed on their behalf would have fled cos he cannot behold inquity and even if it seems the guy is speaking in tongues,”MY DEAR,he is not but he is on fire”,and then the scriptures says “we should not be a stumbling block to others or be an avenue for another man to fall”.Remember “watch and pray?” Don’t just pray for the right partner and then he/she comes and the best you guys could do is to refuse to watch till the devil ruins the relationship because passion has taken over the reasons of coming together.Lastly,don’t go for the “Jericho traps(Pre-marital sex)” but rather wait for the “Jerusalem trips(sex within marriage)”.If she can’t wait but decided to pack into ur house or sleep over before marriage,that means she doesn’t see anything wrong in fornication and so nothing would be wrong with adultery and if he can’t wait to av sex with you till you are married,that means he doesn’t have self control and even your house-help is not safe with him in the house.I pray God gives us more understanding to this and his strength to be made perfect in our weaknesses.
Here’s my 2cent…I would fuck the shit out of her if she comes to my house.
disclpline is all that matter here…most guys are weak.. not all…i am not…untii you realize that sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, then you are not matured. when a girl comes to your house, the first thing most guys think is sex…which is wrong..girl respects you more when u treat her like a lady, as if she is the most important guest that has ever come into your house…maybe like obama’sister…you know what i mean. just treat her right, then u see how gentlemanly u are. we all are in pursuit of happiness. nothing makes me happy more than making people happy…if premarital sex makes u happy, then u are dying…sorry
Wow!!! Interesting comments I must admit. But why is so much emphasis laid on the boy or man?? But in the final analysis, don’t play house, don’t do co-habitation, just RUN if you are strong enough to RUN. God help us all…