Image by © Ron Nickel

Image by © Ron Nickel

This morning, a friend on my BBM (Dexter-not his real name) innocently (at least as related by him) used a picture of a lady that works out, showing all the 6 packs and figure 8, the boobs and ass. I was first going to ignore it, but I confronted him. Here is the conversation;

Tee Abraham: Stop that.

Dexter: What?

Tee Abraham: Ur DP

Dexter: AhnAhn. She is just a girl that works out na.

Dexter: Ok, lemme change it. I’m sorry=D

*then he changed it to Serena Williams picture with big ass in tight and short dress.*

Tee Abraham: Ikr =^>

Tee Abraham: I have some people I work with (porn and masturbation issues), they tell me any small thing triggers the addiction. Imagine you have such amongst your contact.

Dexter: Looooooool. Well

Dexter: This is just Serena Williams na

Ahh =( I am causing people to sin='(

Tee Abraham: I know…You might mean no harm

Tee Abraham: “But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone hung around your neck”. Mark 9:42

Dexter: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Ewooooooooo.

Tee Abraham: Na so. Na Jesus talk that one.

Dexter: A stone around my neck?Lemme remove all oooo

Tee Abraham: Abeg remove it. Put a normal/reasonable picture

Dexter: Ok

Mind you, I’m not an amebo. But I just couldn’t let this one slide. I have friends that might warn you once you use a provocative picture as your BBM’s display picture (including uploading such on Facebook or Twitter). The next time you do it again, they’ll just delete/unfriend/unfollow you straight up. Why might you ask? Well, they are just concerned about their sanity/state of mind. If the bible says Flee all appearance of evil,” and you innocently want to be an instrument of the devil to bring temptation their way, then I can say unfriending you is very well justifiable.
How often do we put a cause of stumbling before our friends or even total strangers that cross our paths – in person or even virtually on social media? Even sometimes we ourselves are these stumbling blocks.
I don’t have to state the various ways we can be victims of this, but let me state a few.

  1. What we say.

I personally believe the thought that “everyone is open to their own opinion” has caused more harm than good. Everyone just airs their opinions, not minding the consequences on those listening.
I know everyone is supposed to guard their hearts concerning what they allow to enter into their hearts/heads, but not everyone is mature enough to discern right from wrong  ; some just don’t know any better, so it pays you and your listeners better for you to shut up if you are not sure of the “status” of what you want to say.
Funny how a friend of mine thinks it’s just normal for wives to give their husbands condoms when they are travelling just because her friend says that is what his wife does. Discussion for another day.

  1. What we wear.

Yes! What we wear. Before I start this, my favourite dress on ladies dress are the short kind of dresses or flared skirts, I just love them cos one of my best features of a lady’s body is her legs. And I’m convinced that ladies that wear trousers won’t go to hell for it except they fault what this post is discussing.

Businessmen Leering at a Businesswoman --- Image by © Ken Seet/Corbis

Image by © Ken Seet

How much room does our freedom, both human freedom to choose and live, and even the freedom Christ bought for us, give us to do whatever we find pleasing to us?
It’s definitely not absolute freedom.
A good instance of this was when Paul was addressing the issue of eating meat in Romans 14. He started by saying “Accept Christians who are weak in faith and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. For instance, one person believes it is all right to eat anything. But another believer who has a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. Those who think it is all right to eat anything must not look down on those who won’t. And those who won’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them. Who are you to condemn God’s servants? They are responsible to the Lord, so let him tell them whether they are right or wrong. The Lord’s power will help them do as they should. In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. Each person should have a personal conviction about this matter. Romans 14:1-5 (NLT)”
He said that each person should have their own personal conviction as regards those matters as neither eating nor not eating is wrong, but he added a huge clause later on:
“Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way…If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. Let us, therefore, make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall. Romans 14:13-16, 19-21 (NIV)
So to you, you might love extremely short or tight dresses, but you have to be mindful of people that could be plunged into lust just by merely looking at you.
A good instance is, my lady can wear a bikini if we are on a beach in America, but not Naija beaches. We aren’t just ready for such. You might wanna ask what’s the difference.  It’s the environment. Such things aren’t  big deals to whites anymore.  I’m not ruling out the fact that it will make some lust, but not on the magnitude of damage it will cause in a place like Nigeria. Besides, the scripture was pretty clear on the topic of dressing, emphasising on MODESTY.

  1. Actions in general

This is just another way to give an all-encompassing point,  as the first two points still fall under this.
We must be very conscious, I mean, super mindful of all our actions, we should put others in proper consideration of what the consequence of our actions can be. A very good instance is how some sisters lead some brothers on and vice versa. (Read more in DISCUSSION: HOW TO FRIEND ZONE EFFECTIVELY).
You are being just friends, yet you are sitting on his laps and collecting his gifts, or calling her pet names and calling her late in the night, sharing vision and selling her dreams and now, you are surprised that she sees you as more than just friends and  already planning to wed you in her head.
How good will it be if you are the reason someone becomes covetous, becomes addicted to something, takes to stealing, harbour bitterness or strife, becomes unforgiving…? The list is endless.
Every word and action of ours are like drops in the ocean. They have ripple effects, effects beyond what you could ever imagine. As much as you can’t entirely control these effects and since you can’t entirely hold yourself responsible for other people’s actions, try as much as possible not to be the cause for their stumbling (misleading, sinning…).
So, like the title of the post says, what is the reason why you can’t do whatever you want to do? Post your answer as a comment.
But for me, and since it’s #PSSeries, I believe that since almost everyone is struggling with something, you don’t want to contribute to their struggles.
Thank you for reading, I really want you to share this (You can use those social media icons below or just copy the link) because I believe this message is very important for everyone to hear. I’ll be expecting your comment.


“The Friend-Zone”, Blessing in disguise




* * *

 See you tomorrow at 12 Noon for another impactful post on life tough issues and someone’s Personal Struggle. Do you have a question or issues you’ll love to be addressed, submit it below?

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About author


Tolulope Oludapo is a young Christian who lends his voice through the media by sharing practical wisdom for everyday living in the most experiential and simplified fashion. This has fetched him the direct followership of over 30,000 users on his blog, A blog he founded. He loves to write on varying subjects that affect life, faith, relationship...everyday living.
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