The Friend-Zone – Blessing in disguise

Even if I don’t know anything about the male species, I know this is something most of them dread. The Friend-zone. I didn’t know whether to be happy about it or to get angry when it happened to me. I got friend-zoned. And I’m female. We do the friend-zoning, don’t we? Well, I got friend-zoned. Me. A girl. By a guy,  strange.

There’s this guy I met and over the past few months, we’ve grown fond of each other. Since I was just recovering from a bad break-up, I didn’t want to push things further than they were. But then one day, something happened and he said ‘That doesn’t change the way I feel about you’. Well, inquisitive me decided to poke further. I think it was at this point that feelings started to grow.

And then one day, we were talking and I got this speech: ‘I really like you and I’ve really grown fond of you but I think it’s best we remain the way we are. I don’t want to ask you out only for the relationship to fail bla bla‘ . You get the gist. I didn’t know whether to laugh or to be upset. And then it got me thinking.

Everyone who goes into a relationship doesn’t have the faintest idea whether the relationship will work or not. They take a leap of faith and try to work things out. So is that a good excuse? But then again, I tried looking on the bright side. I didn’t waste my time ‘chasing shadows’. He isn’t ready for a relationship and he told me that out-rightly. God knows a heartbreak is the last thing I need right now. I don’t even need it. So maybe being friend-zoned was a good thing. I think.

Here’s just a lesson to be learnt. If you want to go into a relationship with someone, you need to be ready, mentally especially. Not just because you think you feel something for the person. And being friend-zoned may not be a bad thing after all. Don’t be so short-sighted that you miss the greater blessing.

About author


Tolulope Oludapo is a young Christian who lends his voice through the media by sharing practical wisdom for everyday living in the most experiential and simplified fashion. This has fetched him the direct followership of over 30,000 users on his blog, A blog he founded. He loves to write on varying subjects that affect life, faith, relationship...everyday living.
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