TO EVERY FUTURE FATHER

My mum said, “My son, Papa was a rolling stone, Where ever he laid his hat was his home, and when he died, all he left us was alone”

What kind of father do you want to be?

I strongly feel that this isn’t a question that must be resolved for you by whatever situation/circumstance you find yourself when you finally come to that stage of fatherhood.

Circumstance, situations which are decided by your career, health, financial buoyancy… will tend to impose a type of life, a certain form of response to life, which our family is a major part of it, hence if we leave fatherhood to chance, there is a great chance we won’t be the best Dad our kids will like to have.

The starting phrases are from a popular song, a multiple Grammy award-winning R&B song released way back in 1972, Papa was a rolling stone. Here is the full lyric, more like a story.

 

It was the third of September

That day I’ll always remember, yes I will

Cause that was the day, that my daddy died

I never got a chance to see him

Never heard nothin’ but bad things about him

Momma I’m depending on you, to tell me the truth

Momma just hung her head and said, son

 

Hey Momma!

Is it true what they say that Papa never worked a day, in his life

And Momma, some bad talk goin’ round town sayin’ that Papa had three outside children

And another wife, and that ain’t right

Heard them talking Papa doing some store front preachin’

Talked about saving souls and all the time reaching

Dealing in debt, and stealing in the name of the law

Momma just hung her head and said…

 

Hey Momma,

I heard Papa called himself a jack of all trades

Tell me is that what sent Papa to an early grave

Folks say Papa would beg, borrow, steal

To pay his bills

Hey Momma,

Folks say Papa never was much on thinking

Spent most of his time chasing women and drinking

Momma I’m depending on you, to tell me the truth

Momma looked up with a tear in her eye and said, son…

[Chorus]

Papa was a rolling stone, (my son)

Where ever he laid his hat was his home

and when he died, all he left us was alone

 

What do we want our kids to say about us? What’s happening all around us today should be a good lesson, not everyone has something good to say about their dad, today is a remembrance of bitter memories for some, more of the reasons we should be intentional, decide now and work towards the kind of father’s we want to be.

This is not a post of Dos and Donts, but a call to think and decide for ourselves how the thought of being a better father; one our children deserve and will be proud of should better inform our choices, our life and actions from now.

I spoke with some friends whose fathers were never (or not always) home, and here is what they will like to say to us. To the ladies reading, let this post, and the comments that follow help you decide what you should be truly looking for in a man asides the height and complexion, attributes that helps no one.

1.  To the future fathers No matter what happens, never ever let your children feel they don’t have you in their lives especially while you’re still alive. Neglecting them even when they ask/beg for ur love, care, attention and provision would leave a scar in their hearts that if u don’t change ur ways, u’l wake up one day and realise, ur kids now only see u as a man with the title ‘dad but not their DAD.

Share time with them and your wife, even when things are rough and tough, still find a way to show them that you care. Don’t wait to get all d millions and billions in d world b4 showing u care because they’ll keep hurting and one day not even the millions you’ve acquired will bring them to be happy with you or want you to be in their lives cos it won’t matter anymore.

Above all, constantly ask God for help and guidance in every step…

2. This is the summary; Fathers should become men, Real men. Come out of their closets and take up their responsibility of leading their homes.

Most men mistaken having biological children as being fathers.

3. My advice for future dads is to be Faithful to their wives, be so close to God. God first in everything.

Take care of their families, be so close to their kids. Know what’s up wf their kids; their kids should be able to confide in them, tell them intimates things.

Then don’t involve third parties in your family.

4. Well, what I will say is av seen d importance of being a good father, I didn’t av mine to stick around for very long time. But when I see other pple and how they react with their dads makes me think bout mine, some pple av fantastic things to say bout their dad’s, some don’t cause their fathers have not built a good relationship between them, So they should be d father dey can be while they have d chance to, Family is important . Be d hero’s for d guys and be d gentle man for d girls. Do things that would make their children profit from now.
5. To the future father of my children; Fear and love God…cos when a man fears God, he can’t cheat, just like Joseph…basically, have the fear of God cos it covers a lot.

I bet they have so much more to say, but we can understand the reason for their brevity.

To all our future fathers, We owe our kids the best father, otherwise, don’t bring any kid to the world, focus on the other aspect of life that matters to you.

Being a father is not marchioness or a huge bank account, it is an attribute that we must build on itself and we will achieve it by being intentional about it; working on ourselves constantly.

We must decide not to be a Rolling Stone, busy with everything except the ones that really matter. We must BE PRESENT.

Thanks for reading, what will you like to say to every future father? Kindly share as a comment below. Thanks

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