Love

WHAT GOES DOWN ON WEDDING NIGHTS?

Couple hugging in living room --- Image by © Steve Prezant/Image Source/Corbis

Wedding night! Yes wedding night, that first night that you can legally and spiritually do stuff together and not feel guilty afterwards, yes, that night. What really happens on a wedding night? Have sex? Lol…are you sure?

I did a little reading on what happens on wedding night and one majorly that caught my attention was a post on CNN’s website with real stories of how different couples spent their wedding night, I’m sure you are gonna expect some loving up, cuddle, bathe together with scented candles and rose petals…lol…of course, there were rose and scented candles but very few of them got to see it talkless of use it, a very great percent of couples end up being too tired from the ceremony, the reception and worse off for those who do after party, and to make things worse, few couples even have a bit of food all through the day, so they barely have any strength left for having sex. Some just look for food, eat and are too heavy and tired after to even do a thing, while others just fall asleep cuddled up.

There are the other set of those who don’t even make it into their bedroom, but end up in the hospital for picking up an injury from the dance floor or from having too much to drink.

There are few impatient and too horny couples that slip out of the wedding reception for a quickie, now I’m giving some intending couples some pretty nice ideas.

A quick gist-  I know of a couple who didn’t stop kissing from after the church wedding ceremony all the way to the wedding reception…more than a hour drive…I’m  sure you can guess why. If you can’t guess, I’ll hint you on that in a bit.

What then happens on wedding night, or should I rather ask, how many couples really get to have sex and consummate their wedding that very night?

A friend put on his BBM personal message once, “Only virgins look forward to sex on their wedding night“. My reply to him was, “before nko“, meaning, it doesn’t take rocket science to know that, it’s pretty predictable. And yeah, that was why the couple I referred to earlier couldn’t just unlock their lips, it was their first time.

So is it only couples who haven’t had sex prior to marriage who look forward to the wedding night, or a sneak out for a quickie I hope no one is still asking what a quickie is? I kind of feel this is no question, as the answer is an obvious…yes, unless I’m proven otherwise. I’m not denying the fact that the sex for couples who have had couple/lots of sexual relations prior their wedding night will be somewhat special, it will be more emotional due to what happened that day.

I learnt of couples who go on a ‘sex fast‘ a month or more before their wedding just to have a special wedding night. They starve themselves of the sex they’ve had ceaselessly to have something to look forward to at their wedding night.

The reason you pay for an expensive honeymoon trip, book an exquisite hotel etc, isn’t to taste their nice food or take pictures like every other tourist, but to have a time away, stay intimate with your new bride or groom. But why go through all that if there is nothing special to look forward to?

I sought the opinion of some unmarried youths (who are not having sex yet) and I realised that most of the ladies are just indifferent about anything happening that night. Some say they will be tired and might not just be in the mood, some feel their naivety will get the better of them so they’ll just shy away since there will be more pressure that night. (Click Here to read about SEXUAL NAIVETY)

On the other hand, the only song most of the guys plan to sing that evening is Boy’s II Men’s “I’ll make love to you “, I hope you know what I mean?

Now, let us hear from a married friend of mine…

Question: What happens on wedding nights? With what mind/feeling/expectation should that night be approached?

Response from Mrs Yemi:

What happens on the wedding night is quite irrelevant. It is what you make out of it. I know of a couple, infact the majority of the couple I know stayed up all night reminiscing about the day and their future together. Someone like myself hit the sack of our hotel room and totally forgot about the expectation of the wedding night because nature had to take its cause….I was simply tired. Lol. It’s like asking the importance of a wedding ceremony? Is it necessary to have one? I would shout from the roof top NO. But is it necessary to have a wedding band (ring)? I would shout YES!!!

Maybe cos I don’t have a fantastic story to outline probably I sound like this, but I’m glad I don’t because from talking to my close married friends about their wedding night makes me understand that it is irrelevant what you do on your wedding night because whatever you do isn’t stated in the law or the bible that has to be done. But it is necessary to understand that pre- marital sex is a disease to the body and soul….It distorts your thinking of intimacy and allows the perversion to take its course. It robs you of your purity in the way you think and see God’s purpose of intimacy. That alone is what should keep you having not only the wedding night special, but all intimate night special. What makes it special is your understanding of what God thinks about keeping the marital bed sacred. The physical and emotional contribution this commandment would have on you.

One night is too small to get you to understand this because it’s a lifetime reward.

Gbam! What more can a single brother like me say again? We often times create our own heartbreak through the expectations we build. Must anything happen on your wedding night? Maybe, maybe not. What happens if your partner sleeps off ‘cos he/she is just too tired from the day’s ceremony? Does it mean they love you less or want the sex any less? Of course not. What if you try to have sex and you just couldn’t get through with it or it was way below your wedding night fantasy?

Bride disappointed with groom passed out on hotel bed --- Image by © Unlisted Images/Corbis

Bride disappointed with groom passed out on hotel bed

Should you look forward to the Wedding Night? By all means, it’s a special night… the miracle of union, and where your bodies will become one. Bible stories record stories of huge parties and celebration around wedding nights, meaning it is something noteworthy. However, from today’s post, sexual intimacy transcends that night, it doesn’t end that night, after all, you might not even get to understand each other’s body and taste yet… nose clashing, and lots of ouch from hurting each other. (Is SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY important and how do you judge. CLICK HERE to read)

How are you supposed to approach that night? With joy, not one that will be derived from any sexual satisfaction that night, but joy in your partner, the gift of someone to share your life with, someone to travel life’s road together, sharing the burdens together, someone who will satisfy your sexual appetite and vice versa, and by doing so, you both end up glorifying God. If it will take sex to make you happy, then we can infer that you married the person primarily for sex?

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We all have criterias and conditon our partner must meet, but what is one that must be played with?THE FOUNDATION OF A PURPOSEFUL RELATIONSHIP

And to know about one of the most important factors in making the right choice, read; BOY MEETS GIRL; MAKING THE PERFECT CHOICE

31 LESSONS FROM MY 3 MONTHS OF BEING A WIFE

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Thank you reading What goes down on Wedding Nights, looking forward to reading your comment 😀

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Tolulope Oludapo is a young Christian who lends his voice through the media by sharing practical wisdom for everyday living in the most experiential and simplified fashion. This has fetched him the direct followership of over 30,000 users on his blog, lifegiva.com. A blog he founded. He loves to write on varying subjects that affect life, faith, relationship...everyday living.
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