What I Learned After Experiencing Loss

Losing someone dear to you can be a life-changing experienceNo scratch that, it actually is a life-changing experience.  

This was the death of my friend “Joshua”. It was so surreal, I mean I had experienced the loss of a loved one when I was a lot younger, but this one hit me hard.

Josh was a very good friend of mine, we had just become good friends in 100 level ,first semester. And he was one person i cherished soo much even though I didn’t let him know, one time i even had a crush on him,* sigh* haha that’s a story for another day.(One day I’ll write my version of the “Netflix hit movie “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before”).

Josh made me like myself even more, one time he walked up to me and told me I had the most beautiful smile in the world, and I should never stop smiling, it boosted my confidence level up to a 100.

He would call me “Lola” instead of “Damilola” in the most adorable way ever and gave some really interesting and sweet explanation as to why he preferred to call me that, he just always ensured I was always smiling and happy. I loved him!!

Then we drifted apart for reasons best known to me, and whenever he sees me he’ll just smile and say “Lola!! my runaway friend, and I’ll just laugh and open my teeth cause it already became a part of me” and that will make him look at me in a really priceless manner that made me feel loved. Josh also enjoyed talking about God to me. He was just the best friend for me.

Then after Christmas break, we resumed and I remember being in my room unpacking my luggage, and a friend of mine came inside my room and said ” I just heard a news, that some students had an accident on thier way to school, though we don’t know much about it yet, let’s just pray for them”. To be honest for a minute I wasn’t bothered, all I did was mutter “God help them”, then she went on to mention Joshua’s name.

At that moment, I felt weak, and I said, ‘which Joshua?’. Then she mentioned his surname, immediately I lost it.

That night, I prayed to God!!!. “Please God, let them be safe”. Let Joshua be safe!!

Eventually, news reached me that he was confirmed dead.

My Joshua! Dead? How? He was the sweetest human being ever! This is unfair! Why will God do this? But Joshua loved God, why didn’t He save him from the accident? Those were the thoughts in my head.

I was worried!! I couldn’t concentrate on my exams, I still don’t understand how I managed to pass my exams, because I was troubled all through.

Prior to his death, I had just made plans during the holiday on rekindling the friendship and stop being a “runaway friend”. But now I lost the opportunity to even make it happen.

You know what I learned  at that point?

Love is a verb, it requires action.

Miss someone? Call them or see them if you can. Send a text. Let them know how much they mean to you, and always pray for your friends, family/loved ones.

Miss someone? Call them or see them if you can. Send a text. Let them know how much they mean to you. Share on X

And always tell people about God and how great and beautiful it is to be saved. Because we all won’t be here forever! Something more beautiful awaits us!!!

Always tell people about God and how great and beautiful it is to be saved. Because we all won't be here forever! Something more beautiful awaits us!!! Share on X

What I learned years later?

God didn’t kill Joshua. He isn’t a wicked God. He is loving. He won’t take good things away from us. Nothing evil comes from God.

Always remember this. 

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning “. – James 1:17

God is good always, and His nature is love!!

I miss Joshua, and I never forget to smile with my teeth showing every time!😄 

And I know better now, he is in a much better place, and I’m happy he was/is saved. Now that’s not a loss but a sweet gain!! And I no longer mourn but rejoice!!

God is good always, and His nature is love!! Share on X


Written by ‘Lola Oyetunji

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