Who is a Friend? Reevaluating Friendships


While watching a movie two nights ago, I had to re-evaluate my concept of who a “friend” is. This might not mean much to you if you just have a handful of people you call friends. I’m a bit liberal with that word “friend” and dish it out without caution. Hence I saw the need to re-define the word “friend”.

I’ve been a campaigner for “making peace” with everyone, especially those with whom you were once “real gees” but now barely talk due to a misunderstanding or the likes. In my own case, I don’t just stop at making peace but strive to take  the friendship to the state it was before what happened. Now, I see that I was not being realistic. Not everybody can be your friend.

Not everyone is your friend or buddy. Even a great percentage of those you honour with that title don’t deserve it a bit. Life isn’t like Disney movies or high school musical where everyone that falls into your similar social status automatically qualifies to be your friend.

“My Friend” is also not a permanent status you give someone. It is a status that should be reviewed constantly. And unlike I used to think, friendship isn’t a do or die affair. As you drop some, you make a new one(s).

Here is what I mean; a friend is that person(s) who is always there when you’re down and need help. That person you know will always be there for you.

They don’t have to be there all the time, but when you need them, they are right there.

Also very importantly, a friend isn’t yours because you are their friend; I don’t think it should be reciprocal. Please don’t fall victim of that, where you’ll be forced to be his/her friend because he/she sees you as a buddy. It is more sensitive than that.

This article is rather sensitive knowing that it’s a double-edged sword. While trying to evaluate your buddies and cut off the unnecessary attachments, remember that you are someone’s friend, so you are undergoing review as well. But should this be the reason to lower your standard and give an excuse as to why you are keeping junk in your friendship trunk?  No!

The choice of a friend has a great influence on your life, probably the greatest influence. You are who your buddies are; their advice, choices and decisions, goals influence you somehow, and vice-versa.

Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared. Proverbs 22:24-25

To those that don’t have a friend and don’t see a need for one, this scripture is for you:

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecc 4:9-10

We all need a buddy but  just have to choose wisely. Being someone’s buddy is precious but sensitive, so please be a good one.

Thank you for reading. I’m really looking forward to seeing your comments.

Speaking of  friends, would you like to watch “Platonic Cuddles: Is There Such a Thing?”

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