Should Christians Cohabit Before Marriage?

Should Christians cohabit before marriage? This may be a strange question to you but it is a very important question to answer in our day and from the bible’s view too.

Now, like we often say here on lifegiva, the bible may not have the answer to your questions explicitly spelt out in black and white but the bible has answers or wisdom applicable to every situation and question. So for instance, the bible may not say, “Do not smoke” but it says: your body is the temple of God and you should treat it as such.

It is important to address this because the culture of cohabiting is becoming more popular in the world, and even among believers.

So, let’s look at the various arguments justifying cohabiting.

– It’s a great way of finding out your partner’s true nature before marriage…

The arguments often are “It’s a great way of finding out your partner’s true nature before marriage…”.  But how true is this? As much as I will not deny that there is a sense to this. There are revelations of your intending partner that comes to life when you are in close proximity for a long period of time, but to that, the truth still remains that One who is very deceitful needs little effort to maintain the farce even while cohabiting.

If we are sincere with ourselves, and if that’s your primary reason for wanting to cohabit, then cohabiting isn’t the only way to find out more about our partner. You can spend time dating and having conversations, discussing important questions. There is also the Holy Spirit to lead you and help you discern.

Like I said earlier, it is very possible to live under the same roof with someone and not know anything about them.

– It is financially convenient.

Some others may present the argument of financial convenience. To that I would say, it is better to work towards marriage than settle for the option of cohabiting and risk falling into the sin of fornication.

I believe as believers, we should examine all our decisions holistically, and not go for what’s easy or convenient, but what is glorifies God as stated in his word.

Yes, you might save a lot of money living together as compared to living apart and paying for two different apartments, two different utility bills…but you have to also consider that risk this puts you in. And that’s the risk of falling into sexual sin.

The Bible forbids sex before marriage, regardless of what the worlds think. Is it truly possible to cohabit with someone you are in love with and not have sex? This question is synonymous to the one asked in Proverbs 6:28, “Can he walk on hot coals and not blister his feet?” I honestly do not think so.

Ephesians 4:27 also says do not give the devil a foothold, do not give the devil a place, a chance. When cohabiting, it is super easy to fall into the sin of fornication. Even if you survive it without falling, it would be such a struggle.

In fact, the bible says to “flee from every appearance of evil” in 1 Thessalonians 5:22. In 1 Corinthians 6:18, it says to “flee sexual immorality” This means that is not something to toy with or experiment with. It is also not something to keep a few meters away. It is something you run flee from.

Yes! I know you don’t have to cohabit to be liable to fall into sexual sin. Many believers are not cohabiting and having premarital sex (not judging anyone). But it is important to eliminate everything that might make that happen.

Remember what Jesus said about cutting your hand, or removing your eyes if it will cause you to sin. Cohabiting is such a hand or an eye.

Jesus said “So if your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one hand or one foot than to be thrown into eternal fire with both of your hands and feet.” (Matt 18:8).

Read: How to Make a Fresh Start After Committing Sexual Sin

Conclusively, to cohabit as Christians is unwise. The benefits often presented when the issue of cohabitation comes up is not worth a Christian risking it all. If you and partner as Christians start thinking towards that, I think it is best you to get married already. It is a better option and then you get to know your partner both the literal meaning of the word and the biblical meaning.
You also get the financial convenience you seek. Win-win, it is! 🙂

If your goal as dating partner is to remain sexually pure, then cohabiting won’t be one of your options.

I’ll like to hear your thoughts. What do you think? Should Christians cohabit? Kindly leave a comment, please.

Read also; Choosing Celibacy After Years of Being Sexually Active